I’M MOVING
Sorry Tumblr. You don’t snap my bean.
I am moving to BLOGSPOT.
Here is my website:
OH and..
My new obsession is the discovery of the HILARIOUS show called ‘Web Therapy’ starring Lisa Kudrow. Find it on Hulu…it will make you laugh.
The premise is a terrible therapist gives three minute sessions online and is really only concerned about herself. Funny shit:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/78110/web-therapy-psycho-analysis-part-1#s-p4-so-i0
AND I just watched the second episode of ‘Psyco Analysis’ and it is HILARIOUSSS.
Grey Hair
I may or may not be sexually attracted to my personal trainer. I want him to misunderstand the nature of our relationship as trainer and trainee. This is completely irrelevant to what I want to say, but a starting point nonetheless. What is important are my deltoids, triceps, and obliques that are going to be so cut they are sharp to the touch. All I need is a proliferation of the minimal motivation that I have festering somewhere inside of me. I am eating healthfully, sleeping well, limiting my stress, driving recklessly, and sunbathing all day. I am doing everything properly, I just need to exercise. I cut out all of the drugs, except meth, which helps me sleep. I am completely mentally stable, I even think I am going to invest in gold or create glass from sand and heat and sell it for a lot more than I made it. Anyways, back to me, this is my blog of course. I need a strong lower back. I will often times be depositing money in the bank or valeting my car or eating truffled caviar and all of a sudden my back will just give out. Now, I don’t want to be one of those old people who break a leg from walking, like the Pope who broke his wrist this morning or whenever (how is he going to consummate his relationship with his hand now?) I know Amy Sedaris installed a cordless phone down by the floor just in case she ever fell in her apartment but I am not that serious. What I am trying to say is that I am getting older. My therapist told me that she noticed my gray hairs outside of her office in the light just the other day. I told her that I needed positive feedback and support and then killed her. I often times have dreams that my teeth are falling out or that my legs will give out on me. You would think this would be motivation to go to the gym. Well, I did go today, for 20 minutes. Okay, I mean it’s not that much but it is a step up from smoking a cigarette on the way there and back. Some people are really bad, someone once told me they saw a bunch of women in the locker room eating Chick-fil-A off of the benches. I guess it is one step at a time. And that meager sentence will provide the weakest conclusion and antidote to a completely nonsense blog. Thank you.
The next couple of months…
I have one more class to pass before I graduate from Guilford College on Thursday. No walking and no throwing tassels up in the air, besides the ones pasted to my nipples - I really am just done after I finish these last two independent studies. I will graduate with a major in photography and acting. What to do? These last couple of days has been a huge whirlwind between work, relationships, and thoughts of the future. The only three things that I could see myself seriously pursuing are photography, film, and acting. I told my family today that I think I might move to California. I asked my Aunt who lives in Los Angeles, ‘How do I move across the country?’ She said, ‘You pack your shit up into a U-Haul and you fucking drive across the country.” The possibility went from unreal to real in 3.5 seconds. When I told my father he really just burst my bubble and brought on the practicality. Well, once I thought about it I realized there really is no practicality. It isn’t totally practical. I will be taking my chances and I probably will be struggling for quite a while. I am all right with that as long as I am doing what I am passionate about. Maybe I should join the Groundlings. I’m really just all about manifesting my good ideas into some form of art, maybe acting and film. However, I also have an eye and talent for photography. I hate to toot my own ass but I honestly believe I would be good at really anything that I try – so how do I know what to do? I could be happy doing anything - well, most things. I’ve never thought to myself ‘I want to be a dentist or a therapist.’ I do, however, have notebooks filled with hilarious ideas that are just going to lie there like a rug until they are developed. I mean that is what I have always liked to do – laugh and make laugh. So, I am thinking seriously about San Francisco. I think it will allow me to develop my creative talent without commercializing and crushing it like L.A. would. It is also, in my opinion, a higher quality of life. Right? Northern California is gorgeous. Oh, what to do, what to do. I guess I do like some things. To name a few, I like animals, science, Pippi Longstockings, skin disorders, diseases, mental handicaps in general, technology, cartoons, decorating things, blazing hip hop, googley eyes, traveling, journalistic photography, imitating, my own brand, Dutch ovens, cooking, self-portraits, Africa, wooden things, Amy Sedaris, reading, the news, people, watching people, love with people, sex with people, etc etc. How can I combine these and previous thoughts into a job? Ideas? I’ve never really posted thoughts onto a blog before so this might be a little open-ended, like a winking horse. I also think I am in a nutty time, so we will see, they will probably not all be so broad. Penny for your thoughts people of the internet.
